Spiritual Practices: Community

The other day my husband came in after participating in his new exercise
regime and said, “Is it ever hard for you to start exercising?”

I replied, “Every single time. But I’m always glad afterward that I did.
And that’s one of the reasons I love going to exercise classes; because it adds
the element of other people to meet for exercise and the accountability of
being with an instructor.”

One of the devastating effects of the pandemic has been the loss of in-person
gatherings. Now people are starting to come back, but there is still a
tentativeness about gathering. We lose something very important when we are
isolated from others.

As a therapist who recently started seeing clients again, I’ve noticed
this reluctance, especially among the old and the young.

For instance, I have several people in their twenties and early thirties
(the young) who tell me they have no friends. They have family and one
significant other, but not outside friends, and they don’t know how to find
friends. Or they don’t have time or energy to do so. When I suggest finding
interest groups like book clubs, hiking groups, church, art classes…they just
shrug.

We can’t expect one person to be our everything. It puts too much
pressure on that relationship, which at some point will implode from that kind
of pressure. We were never meant to ask one person to be all that we need. We
were created to be in community. It takes a village, as they say, to live a
full and healthy life.

It has become very popular on social media to insist that it’s not only
okay, but good, to stay home, curled up with a book. Heaven, forbid we answer
the door, or the phone, or leave the house. It has me quite concerned.

Who will encourage us when we are down, call us on our bad choices, or
visit us in the hospital? We need people to do life with, to help us grow.

Here are some thoughts about friendship from my new book mentor John
O’Donohue:

“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free
the wild possibilities within you.”

“When you send that love
out from the bountifulness of your own love, it reaches other people. This love
is the deepest power of prayer.”

“In the kingdom of love
there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love
you give away, the more love you will have.”

“One of the great obstacles
to modern friendships is the ‘religion of rush.’ People are rushing all the
time, through time. Friendship takes time.”

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of
encouragement.”

“The more love you give
away, the more love you will have.”

“One of the deepest longings of the human soul is to be seen.”

— John O’Donohue, ‘Anam Cara’.

I’d love to hear how you are finding friends in this
post-pandemic world and what friendships mean to you.

Photo at top by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Photo of woman by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

Photo of women by Adrienn on Pexels.com