Spiritual Practice: Seeing People

One of the reasons I love yoga is because it causes the monkeys in my brain to stop their pillow fight and settle down. It is one of the few places where I can live in the present moment (most of the time). This is because the yoga positions are difficult to hold, and you must be in the moment to sustain them. It’s a fantastic way to connect the mind and body.

But recently, I had a day when the monkeys in my head would not quiet at yoga. Let me tell you what happened.

That morning I had my day carefully planned. I got up early to curl my hair so it would look good for a later interview. I would take my granddaughter to school at nine, go to my Pilates class at 9:30, and my yoga class at 10:30, and then get home at 11:45 in time to switch my shirt and apply some makeup to be on a live TV show via Zoom at noon.

While driving my granddaughter to school, I had this terrible thought. What if the TV show was on Eastern Time, not Pacific Time as I had assumed? That would make it start at 9:00 and not noon. As I was driving home (thankfully the school is near my house) I got an email that said, are you coming? I was supposed to be there five minutes before the show started, to pray with the host.

I did the interview wearing my workout shirt and no makeup, but the host was incredibly warm and caring. It was a fun interview.

But afterward, I couldn’t stop thinking about being late; what if I had missed the live show? The host had read my book and everything. She had great questions and spoke highly of my book. What if I had let her down?

I missed my Pilates class but made it to yoga, but my adrenaline was spiked high. I could not let go of obsessing about what had happened. The monkeys were having a full-out fistfight.

About half an hour into the class, the door opened, and someone brought in an older lady who said she wanted to observe the class and see if it was something she could do. A classmate grabbed a chair for her, and the class went on.

Suddenly, I forgot all about my near-tragic morning and thought only of the lady. Would she take the class? Would she be able to make the moves? Would she be able to join our little group?

And then I realized what had happened. When I took my eyes off myself, and put them on another person, I was able to let go of my incessant rumination. Suddenly, I could focus on something else, and by the end of the class, my mind had stilled.

People always talk about that, don’t they? They say if you’re grieving, depressed, anxious, or lonely, you should reach out to someone else. Get your mind off of yourself. I experienced it that day. Thinking of someone else, caring for them, and listening to them makes it impossible to be self-focused. It is a beautiful thing for them and you.

I have friends who have lost their spouses and found joy in serving others. They volunteer at soup kitchens and dog shelters. They visit shut-ins and read to children. These people have found the key to healing their loss by seeing others.

How do you see others? I’d love to hear how you take your eyes off of yourself and on to something more productive. How do you unstick your mind from negative rumination?

I’ll link the interview here so you can see how it went!